In the process of parenting, we emphasize so much on studies, current learning techniques, learning skills and many more that we forget to prioritize the personality development of a child.
Might be you are thinking, why such heavy words for the kids who are so small and there is whole life ahead of them to learn. This is in a way true, but mostly for education that the system provides. But how a child’s personality will shape, depends on the environment he is growing in and environment he sees and experiences.
Every parent tries to bring out the best in their child. But,
- Are we focussing on general ethics & basic behavior of a child?
- Are we following right parenting path?
Focussing on teaching a child self confidence, empathy towards others, kindness towards needy, love towards everyone is much more important than teaching academics. In my opinion imbibing a child with positive personality behavior is most important and also difficult than imbibing academic related stuffs. For me, conduct of behavior and personality development has always been an important aspects of parenting as well.
Because, this is one of the important parts of personality development. It is not only for the child herself/himself, but also for others around them for a productive healthy society.
Why do I believe & work towards giving a positive behavior environment around my kids ? Because-
- That would make them have appropriate behavior towards others.
- A clarity of what’s right & what’s wrong.
- Building up self confidence.
- Its the basic thing that would help them to come out with every obstacles in their life.
In that context,
- let’s teach our child to dream high(if they want to) but not at the cost of own and others life.
- let’s teach our child equality and equal opportunity irrespective of any other factors.
- let’s teach our child living a happy stress free life.
- lets teach our child to be loud about their feelings to you.
- let’s teach our child that it’s absolutely ok to do mistakes
- let’s tell them it’s absolutely normal to get rejections.
- let’s teach them to not be part of any kind of bullying.
- And above all lets teach them empathy, kindness, love.
All these attributes helps to build up a safe behavior in a child, leading to self confidence and never stop trying spirit.
Here is a small example that had worked in our favor-
I keep saying to my child , “you are the best”! I mean it. That doesn’t mean that he knows everything and he can do anything. Never let the belief of super man built in them. Keep it real and in the boundaries of what’s in control of us human and what’s not! And never ever try comparing your child with others. Having said so, I do appreciate others in front of him so that he doesn’t shy away in appreciating people.
How we can attribute such behavior in our child?! Considering the environment circumstances around. From a mother to another, few tips that I think will help you as well. Say your child these lines more often-
“You are the best!” You try harder and even if you don’t get things, you don’t get upset but rather try even harder. And every hard work doesn’t mean that you would make to your goal. Rather a feeling of self satisfaction that you tried and gave your all.
“Love yourself” ask them to repeat after you “I love myself” and “I am the best”. “I keep trying”
Selfconfidence is one of the greater virtue you can help your kids to develop.
Things you must avoid saying to your kids. why say this👇🏼when you can say this-
You didn’t do a good job
No, you can’t do that or do this
You should not do any mistakes
Stop talking, I am too busy
Rather say them-
- You can do better.
- You can try again and I am sure you can do it.
- This wasn’t an appropriate behavior. You can behave better.
- It’s ok to feel upset.
- It’s absolutely ok to fail.
- It’s absolutely ok to be confused.
- It’s good to share thoughts, feelings with your family members.
How can you build self confidence in children!
– Letting them to choose
Because when they choose they come up with better clarity about themselves
– Letting them decide
Because taking decisions about themself will make them clear about what might work and what not for them
– Letting them to do mistakes
Because in future if they make any mistakes they do not shy away for admitting it and then try out new things in life.
– Encouraging them in things they believe in doing
Because that would make them happy and coming out more creatively.
– Going easy on them in terms of routine life, specially in this pandemic.
Because that would allow them to be in comfortable space and happy place where they can have a stress free life and come out with more ideas to do things by themselves.
You cant be around always to stop your child going into a bad company, but you can always ensure how your child can come out of it,if so happens.
- Speak to them about any related topic since early age.
- Teach them to express their feelings and when they speak give them a patient hearing.
- Ask them what happened in school, how was their day? What made them happy today? What made them upset?
- Tell them what they should do when they find themselves confused.
All these things work if they have a habbit of speaking up to you since early age.
- Don’t scream at your highest pitch on them in-front of others or in private.
- Listen to them when they want to be heard.
- Make them feel important before anything else.
- Make them Feel loved by spending time with them.
- Don’t react on their mistakes (Mistakes will build their willpower to come out better. Allow them to do mistakes).
- Make your child comfortable with the rejections.
- Teach them to turn failures towards positive side. It will inspire them to reinvent, rediscover for better.
- Teach them not to seek approval from others about their existence and how they are.
- Raise a happy child who is not insecure, not afraid to make mistakes & most importantly take rejections not so seriously.
- Make them feel not to do certain things to others what they can’t take it themselves.
“Be their friends more than being a parent”Children find it easy communicating their problems when they feel your are a friend to them.
Every small steps taken consciously will bring out impactful changes. They really do.
Love❤️ & Hugs🤗
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